who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
