Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
