If i come over, it means nothing
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
