he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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