you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
