No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
