What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
