woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize