I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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