I bet he comes in French.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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