All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
