You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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