After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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