is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
