just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
