I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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