We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
