yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
where am i from again
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
