never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
