I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
