Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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