i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
