I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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