it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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