Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
