Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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