i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
