I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
