were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
