Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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