So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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