Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
