I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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