Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
