i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Even my vagina gasped.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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