I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
