No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
