No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I need moral support for this bender
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
