Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize