GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
