You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My vagina is officially offended.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
