This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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