Non-Jews are for practice
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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