This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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