after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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