just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize