I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
