Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
