kristin has been a bad kristin
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
