in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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