Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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