fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
