Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
