You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
