i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
