So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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