He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
