Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
